I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I am spending my child support on dildos
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
