those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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