No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
