When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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