I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
