We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
