Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
