These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
