It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
