Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
