bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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