I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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