'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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