Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
