So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
