im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
