I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
You can't special order awesome
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
