That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
