Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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