can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
