oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
