Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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