You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
