So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i came on her dog
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
