The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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