I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
