but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
