oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I enjoy the company of your penis
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
