I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
