break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
