he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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