carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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