The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
