is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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