Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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