My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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