What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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