Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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