Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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