Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
