I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You made out with two different species that night
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
