You just made me feel so damn special
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
third nipple confirmed
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
