I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
