So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
