The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
