My brain says no but my pants say off.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
