I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
