Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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