hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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