Ambien. No doubt about it.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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