therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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