my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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