wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
My feet surprised me
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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