I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
