Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize