all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize
