do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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