I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
