should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
